In 2014, at 18, I moved over a thousand miles away from home. From the outside, it looked like independence. Inside, I was struggling. Before I ever stepped into a gym, I was battling myself. I lost over 50 pounds in the worst way, barely eating, obsessing over the scale, shrinking to under 100 pounds. I thought smaller meant better. I thought discipline meant deprivation.
But I wasn’t healthy. I wasn’t strong. And I wasn’t confident.
When I moved, something shifted. I didn’t want to be thin anymore. I wanted to be strong.I started with at home workouts because I was terrified of the gym. I didn’t know the machines. I didn’t know my form. I didn’t want to be stared at. But everyone starts as a beginner, so eventually I walked in anyway.
I followed a program. I watched videos. I kept showing up, especially when I felt uncomfortable.
In 2016, I became pregnant with my first daughter and trained through my entire pregnancy. Not chasing a number, but chasing strength. Strength became my therapy. Consistency became my confidence.
In 2019, I found powerlifting. I felt like a beginner again. I did my first meet in 2021 and found more than PRs. I found community. After that meet, I found out I was pregnant with my second child. I trained through pregnancy again and came back stronger.
Then in 2024, I suffered a bulging disc in my lower back. Physically painful. Mentally humbling. I had to rebuild from the ground up.
Starting over forced me to confront my ego and my fear. Some days that fear still creeps in when the weight gets heavy. But I’ve learned this:
Growth doesn’t come from avoiding fear. It comes from walking toward it.
With the help of my coach and nutrition coach, I rebuilt not just my strength, but my mindset.
You are allowed to evolve.
You are allowed to start over.
You are allowed to be a beginner again and again.
Strength isn’t about never falling. It’s about getting back up.
Today, I don’t train to be smaller or to punish my body.
I train because I’m grateful I can.
Pseudo Force is that voice that shows up on the hard days, the mental and emotional reminder that you are not alone in the struggle. Everyone faces challenges. Everyone is carrying something. Everyone has a story you can’t see. But Pseudo Force doesn’t let you stay stuck there. It reminds you to push yourself. To do better. To be better. To show up; especially when it’s hard.
Most importantly, it calls you back to yourself. Because you deserve the growth you’re chasing. You deserve the strength you’re building. And you absolutely deserve every blessing that’s on its way to you. “Why not you?” “My best days are ahead of me.” “You did not wake up to be a weak ass bitch.” “If you wait until you are ready, you will be waiting the rest of your life.”
When I feel like giving up, I come back to my why. I think about my goals. I think about my two little girls watching me. Because if they see me quit, what am I teaching them? So I remind myself: a bad day still counts. A hard workout still matters. Progress isn’t perfect, it’s persistent. Every tough day is shaping me to adapt, to overcome, and to keep moving forward. And I’m doing it all as a mom of two. No excuses. Just growth. 💪
You Did Not Wake Up Today To Be A Weak Ass Bitch®
I’m currently working on showing up for myself, being the best version of myself, being the strongest I can be and showing my two little girls to never give up!
Your favorite lift: Deadlift
Gym song on repeat: “Lift that shit” by Slaughter to Prevail
Instagram: Brebre743
Thank you Bre, you are that bitch!
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